This special date has been on my blogging radar for months.
I love the process of writing...painting pictures with words...in order to bring memories to life. So it hasn't been a chore for me lately, to spend time happily imagining how I might weave readers through the magic of what I experienced on this day one year ago:
When my world changed instantly with the opening of one e-mail.
When I received my long-awaited acceptance for SDR surgery with Dr. Park!
When I was left speechless and overcome with emotion because yes, there is a way to stop my mobility loss in its tracks! We can eliminate my chronic pain from CP! We will prevent future joint deformities and stop my muscles from getting any shorter, tighter or weaker from spasticity! Best of all, my future will be so much BRIGHTER (and independent, and active, and happy, and healthy...and...) with spasticity permanently removed.
Then... there was the feeling of pure joy when I shared this life-changing news with my family and friends.
And the "pinch-me-moments" I'll never forget, when I laugh-cried in disbelief with my dear friend Liz who knew fully what this meant to me - because at 32 years old - she also had her SDR surgery with Dr. Park the morning of the same day I got my acceptance from him!
And...then when Liz and I spoke on the phone from her hospital room in St. Louis that very night…celebrating the joy of her first awe-filled hours spasticity-free (!!) which was completely surreal...and still puts a smile on my face, and goosebumps on my arms whenever I think of it...
And... when I put my head on the pillow well after midnight, still smiling with an all-consuming sense of happiness...because I could finally put the weight of my relentless worries to rest. At long last, I had peace in my heart. Of all places, St. Louis, Missouri would come to be the light at the end of my long and frustrating tunnel with spasticity... that I once thought had no end.
These are the precious moments that flipped my world around on July 14th, 2017 - each worthy of novels all their own!
I promise you - I tried to write them for weeks!
But, I soon learned that even one year later, I am still lost for words...unable to describe how those magical moments forever restored my sense of hope, my excitement, my relief…and gave me my life’s spark back. How that "YES" eased the fears of my loved ones who were watching me decline and feeling helpless to stop it... while we all tried to pretend like it wasn’t happening. How, for the first time in years, it felt safe for me to imagine new possibilities...because they could actually now become reality! (And to know that somehow soon, I wouldn’t just be imagining them anymore...I’d be living them in full colour, too!)
In the end...there are no words though. Just a soul-deep sense of gratitude for this life-changing opportunity at SDR surgery that I've earned and been blessed with.
With a lot hard work still ahead to make this happen....and a bit of magic too... I will get St. Louis.
And. I. Can't. Wait!